Looking over my shoulder – Part 2 memories from Soviet Russia

The officers on vacation were often displeased with everything. They were criticizing me for every inconvenience. The palace was not the best place for a sanatorium. I have already described their sleeping conditions. Naturally some of them became nervous and I was the one to blame for everything. For a certain period, I swallowed their criticism till one day I understood how to help myself. I could not change their living conditions, but I could change my own behaviour. It was very simple: I was working with military people, who were used to obey orders. As I was soft and asking for understanding, they were commanding me. This had to be stopped. In the Sanatorium I was their chief, their commander. I changed my tone of voice while talking to them, I changed the expression of my face, I changed the way I walked and began to feel important. From that time on it was me who instructed them what to do. Suddenly ideal order was established in the Sanatorium.

It is difficult to say is Nina a serious person or light-minded? When she was a schoolgirl of 15, she was always laughing, also at the lessons, and full of jokes. At the same time she was extremely serious about studying. So, decide for yourself, please, about her character. At a very young age she decided to achieve the best education possible and also to travel all her life to see the world. She fulfilled her plan: she has been travelling a lot and became a very educated woman. Being a dreamer, she forgot to plan her personal life and remained lonely. At the age of 92 she is still admiring fairy-tales and enjoys writing her stories.

So, the officers on vacation were often displeased with every-thing. They were criticizing me for every inconvenience. The palace was not the best place for a sanatorium. I have already described their sleeping conditions. Naturally some of them became nervous and I was the one to blame for everything. For a certain period, I swallowed their criticism till one day I understood how to help myself. I could not change their liv-ing conditions, but I could change my own behaviour. It was very simple: I was working with military people who were used to obey orders. As I was soft and asking for understand-ing, they were commanding me. This had to be stopped. In the Sanatorium I was their chief, their commander. I changed my tone of voice while talking to them I changed the expres-sion of my face, I changed the way I walked and began to feel important. From that time on it was me who instructed them what to do. Suddenly ideal order was established in the Sanatorium.